The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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