Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
