We won't sleep together?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
