she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
