She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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