i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
