somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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