All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
