I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
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