Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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