There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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