I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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