Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
