Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
