Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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