judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
