i think i have herpe
just one?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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