Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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