there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
