I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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