508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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