The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
