So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
