Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
