Sponge bath it is.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
