wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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