Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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