oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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