The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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