There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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