just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
