Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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