Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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