dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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