He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
