Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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