I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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