You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
