WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
