I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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