okay pat passed out under dana's car
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
