at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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