what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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