you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
