Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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