the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
