its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
