Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
