No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize