I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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