you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
