I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just googled if crying burns calories
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
