I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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