I feel like abortions should bother me more
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
