i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
