The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
