so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We left the knife in your bed.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
