Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
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