How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize