My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
