Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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