Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My dick has a subreddit
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
