I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
