dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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