im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
